My signature line below that I borrowed from Jody.

 

that bead is slicker than snot,
slicker than cum on a gold tooth
Ain't no flies on that weld *(if they land on it they slide right off)
that gap is tighter than Dick's hatband
That's a gorilla weld, ugly but strong, got a lotta muscles
Yeah, but it'll hold till it breaks!

 

"All of our welds have a life time guarantee. If it breaks, bring it back and we'll weld it again."

 

I had a guy at work say, Sh!t, I think Mike welds his fking boots on in the morning and grinds them off at night!

 

"only 2 types of people wear their hats backwards asshoies and welders so if your not a welder that makes you a asshoie

 

tozziwelding might just set you straight on that one.

 

I was teaching an employee to weld. He made a perfect looking Vee bead, cold, on heavy steel. It was so cold I knocked off a perfect "VEE" with a hammer. I told him to take the perfect "VEE" weld bead home, lay it in the crack of his butt, and tell his wife " Bart was so mad, he welded my butt cheeks closed"

 

This guy can weld a cigarette paper to a turd in a 40 mile an hour wind.

 

If I am going to fall off a cliff, throw me a welding lead. They snag on everything.

Good enough for who it's for. I had to explain this one to an East Indian engineer at work. Some one told him this and he asked me who "who it's for" was. I told him, it's you. He didn't last long.

 

Someone once said you can teach a "monkey" to weld "NOPE" they quit when they get burned.

 

Welders are like hookers' always holler'in for more heat, more rod and more money.

 

When I was young and my dad was teaching me how to weld he would look at my welds and say it looks like a chicken s.hit on it go do it over until it is good. I managed to get the beads looking like Eagle s.hit the first day then after a week I had beads looking like bathroom caulking. You see he did not only tell me it looked bad but I got his size 12 boot stuck up my a.ss every time too and that was more motivating.

:nono::blush2:

 

Hey bro a kick in the azz is still a step foward! :drinkup:

 

Shoulda welded yur butt cheeks together to keep that size 12 boot out.

 

Now THAT is an awkward welding postion.

Requires having your head up there already, don't it?

 

Stack it deep and sell it cheap

 

Bumpersticker:

'(Union) welders do it in all positions'

 

Working with my uncle is a riot. Just the other day a guy complimented his welds and he said I can weld like this or like that, ( what ever he started with) then he looked at the guy and said hey I could even weld it with your hand!

 

How do you make the bottom look like the top? **** up the top!

 

If that's what u hear when you cook bacon you have 2 problems

 

"You can weld while it's raining, you just can't weld in the rain"

..... this was said to me in a monsoon as i was burning inside a canvas teepee that was a half lb short of being a kite... walked the damn thing down to each joint like a turtle.

 

Sounds like a crappy day - at least you got paid

Dave J.

 

I gots a few I've heard over the years:

1. When in doubt, Grind it out!
2. When the hood drops, the bull**** stops.
3. Aint nothing finer than a pipeliner.
4. I wipe my a$$ with pipeline trash!
5. I spit, you shine. I weld, you grind!
6. I got two speeds, Slow and dead stop.

 

I don't subscribe to this one, but I heard it on another site.

There's no bad welding, only poor grinding".

 

I was working with an oldtimer who had just tacked up a pipe, fitter starts banging it, welder yells, "its a tack, not a hinge!"

 

stickerheadz.com has some great stickers you can buy. the one i got are

its all good in the hood (it has a pic of a welding hood on it)
i weld for money you want loyalty buy a dog
W.A.S.P. welders against stupid pipefitters

 

"Mo hotter, mo better!". Ripped from an offshore pro welder back in da day.

 

"That's what you call gorilla welding, ugly but strong."